unbearable feelings
by RighteousHate
Summary: She is alone now. All of her friends left her, even Hotaru. Now she has to bear her feelings, the pain she felt, alone. XxONESHOTxX


HI minna!! I'm back with another oneshot… hope you like it… just read it…

* * *

**Unbearable Feelings**

Her fingers were clinched around the iron chains, her head resting on the back of her hand. The feet moved regularly in the rhythm of the steady forward and backward. The endless movement comforted her a bit. She still stared at an uncertain point in the beautiful landscape before her, but she didn't see those old trees, which were growing near the small river. Far away, you could see the mountains, growing in the sky majestically, watching over the scenery. In the middle of high, autumn coloured grass, there was a little village. It fitted perfectly into the view. Small wooden huts rested peacefully only a few meters away from the cliff, which lead vertical towards the stormy sea.

But she didn't notice it, unlike before. It seemed as she was watching the grass bowing in the soft wind, but she just ignored it. She was just starring into the air, hoping it would heal her wounds. She couldn't care less about the strains on her body, but the bruises that her heart got in the last few hours were unbearable. Her grip tightened around the now warm iron, whitening her ankles, as her memories threaten to take over.

She desperately fought for the control over her body. Her hands began to tremble and her feet stopped abruptly, stuck to the ground, not able to move anymore. She noticed that she was going to loose the battle, so she tried even harder.

She had to be strong, stronger than anytime before in her life. Her breath was now uncontrolled, she gasped for air, not able to think straight anymore. She knew she lost the moment she felt a tear running down her face. Angry she wanted to wipe it away, not allowing herself to show any weakness.

"Cry!"

She looked up as she heard the cold voice. She was surprised that she didn't notice his presence. Without a word she looked into his piercing eyes. Those crimson orbs were starring at her, showing nothing but emotionless ice.

She wasn't expecting something else, but her heart ached at the sight. 'Maybe,' she thought, 'I'll look the same someday'. Then she slowly put her hand down again, clinching the iron chain, as before. She bent her head a bit sideward and looked at the raven-haired boy interrogative.

"Stop pretending you're alright. Cry already." Her eyes widened for a moment, then she closed them tightly and released the tears she held back until the moment ago.

"Natsume!" she cried out as the felt his strong arms around her, holding her tightly and embraced her like there was no tomorrow. She was surprised, taken aback from his unusual behaviour, but then, she calmed down and rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady pound of his heart with salty drops flowing out of her eyes, wetting her eyes, checks and her chin. Her sobs were quiet to begin with, but soon, they got louder and louder until she cried the hell out of her. She screamed and cuddled deeper into Natsume's chest. Her body shook, as she desperately sought for halt in his arms.

But no matter how long she sought, no matter how hard she tried, there was nothing that could help her now. The strong rope holding her was about to tear in two halves, only a few strings kept her from falling. She desperately clinched her fingers not to loose the grip around the rope, but she felt herself weaken with every second.

The girl let out a loud scream and tried to hold herself back. But it was too late. The rope finally sheared. She pulled the raven-haired boy away, stood up and started to run away, only to fall down a few meters away. On her knees, she came silent.

Taken aback from her actions, Natsume stared at her, and then he took a step closer. "DON'T!!" He froze. He had never heard her screaming like this before. She had changed so much.

"Don't. Don't even dare to come near to me. Forget me. Avoid me. Treat me like everyone else does. I don't care. I don't care that I lost everyone around me. I don't mind they were my friends and my family. So, leave me, like they did." Her voice grew more silent with every word she spoke, but it grew more desperately and hysteric too. Then she noticed a movement and as she turned her head a bit, she saw him slowly approaching her.

"STOP IT!!" she screamed, her pain was obviously. Then she suddenly got up, scraped together all her strength and ran away. Her goal was the only way out of this mess. She couldn't go on with this. She wasn't strong enough, she needed support from friends, but now, she had none. Nothing was left. She fought her way thought the high grass, and after a few seconds, she finally saw it. Her goal, her solution, he escape. Threatening roared the sea against the almost back stone, looking so beautiful yet dangerous. She decreased her speed until she slowly walked to her destination and stopped as the precipice was right before her. She put her hand into a little bag; she always kept on her side and took a white mask out. It was quite pretty, with the sapphires and pearl glued on it. With a last look at the scenery behind her, she put the mask on her face and waited.

"Mikan." Finally, she thought, as she heard his voice calling her. Then she saw the raven-haired running towards her, with a shocked expression on his face. "MIKAN!"

She just smiled. "Smile because I can't." She said quietly, but he heard it. He stopped for a moment, but then he ran in an amazing speed towards the cliff. He was only a few meters away, he reached for her. "NOOOOO, MIIKAN!" He saw her stepping back, tripping and slowly falling down towards the sea. "MIKAAAN!"

Mikan closed her eyes, enjoying the wind and the salty smell of the water below her. "I love you" she whispered and a kind of happiness flowed into her body. She was glad he was the last thing she saw.

"I'll wait for you, I promise" Then everything inside her head went black.

* * *

Soo, another oneshot finished. I really like writing dramatic things, hehehe.

If you don't like it, please don'T flame me, I wrote this in half an hour at 11 pm and I'm quite tired yawn

And my English is not the best, soo…

But, feel free to

…**review… review…review…review…**** review…review… review…review…review…**

c ya


End file.
